Sturgis, SD -- A study, which hit the Internet a couple weeks ago, labeled the annual Sturgis motorcycle rally as a COVID-19 "super spreader" that was responsible for 260,000+ positive cases. The study used cell-phone location data of the rally's attendees and tracked them back to their states of origin and then guesstimated the impact of the rally on the overall spread of COVID-19. The study's authors, Dhaval M. Dave, Andrew I. Friedson, Drew McNichols, and Joseph J. Sabia, concluded that "the Sturgis motorcycle rally generated public health costs of approximately $12.2 billion."

But there's a small issue; the study has has proven to be little more than nonsensical. The numbers provided, including the healthcare costs asserted, are mostly conjecture and the article didn't age well as it was later shown that the true "fallout", is significantly lower than the 260,000+ people the study "guesstimated". According to South Dakota health officials, and later published by the Washington Post, the real impact of Sturgis on COVID was much smaller. 
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So, as reality catches up with the hysteria, it seems the true depth of the "super-spreading" Sturgis rally is a mere 0.1% of what was initially asserted in the study which was unapologetically promulgated by numerous infotainment MSM news outlets.

We reached out to Kaiser Health News, who released one story on the initial study, for a response. "Like all studies, there is always a margin for error. While we agree that a 99.9% inaccuracy rating for a study like this is fairly significant, the potential fallout from a "super-spreader" was far too momentous for us to ignore," said Shirley Anderson, a Public Relations representative we spoke with. "These are highly volatile times, politically, and with the kind of support Donald Trump garnered by the attendees at the Sturgis rally, we couldn't simply sit back and let this kind of dishonesty, ignorance, and blatant disregard for public health go unchecked."

When pressed on whether the Kaiser Health News will run an update to their initial story or follow up with a story that shows the new data, Anderson responded, "Though the initial study has been shown to be slightly exaggerated, what we want people to focus on is the reality that it could have been true. We want people to understand that the Government mandated lock-downs are in the best interest of the safety and public health of all Americans and we can not tolerate the complete disregard of these safety precautions, regardless if the evidence shows these events to be non-factors in the spread of COVID-19. So, even though this event turned out to be benign, for the most part, what it could have been is a catastrophe on a scale we have never seen before. And courageous journalistic outlets like ours have the responsibility to hold President Trump accountable for his blatant disregard for truth, science, and the health and well-being of American people.

Art imitates life, or so it is suggested, but what should we do when life imitates art? That's exactly what we're seeing unfold right now in California and other states, where wildfires are burning indiscriminately. What is left in the aftermath, other than devastation, are questions about how this could happen and for Governor Newsom, of California, the answer is obvious. Climate change is responsible for the fires which have claimed 3.2 million acres over the course of this calendar year. 

In his press briefing with President Trump, Newsom made his feelings on this matter abundantly clear, when speaking to President Trump on the matter. "And final point: I’d be negligent — and this is not — and we’ve known each other too long — and, as you suggest, the working relationship, I value.  We obviously feel very strongly that the hots are getting hotter, the dries are getting drier.  When we’re having heat domes, the likes of which we’ve never seen in our history; the hottest August ever in the history of the state; the ferocity of these fires; the drought, five-plus years; losing 163 million trees to that drought — something has happened to the plumbing of the world.  And we come from a perspective, humbly, where we submit the science is in and observed evidence is self-evident that climate change is real, and that is exacerbating this."

When pressed on the fires, specifically, and the root cause of those fires, Governor Newsom stated, "This really isn't about blame so much as it is a call to recognize that the Earth is crying uncle and asking us for help! We can either ignore those cries or we can put our heads together and work towards solutions that lead to genuine change."

Another reporter then asked Newsom why he is still blaming Climate Change, when many of the fires burning in his state have already been attributed to arson. "Haven't you seen 'The Happening' movie", asked Newsom, who was referring to the 2008 film written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. "In that movie, nature is forced to move to more drastic measures in order to get humanity's attention. I believe that's what we're seeing here. Yes, many of these fires have been started by people, but not becasue they want to to watch things burn. These individuals are starting fires becasue some strange and explainable phenomenon is forcing them to start them. Watch the movie, the answers are all there."

The same reporter then asked if he was suggesting that the fictional film is now playing out in reality. "Look, I don't want to spend too much time on this today, but I will say this. When we reject the settled science and ignore the clear signs that nature is giving us, what else is Mother Nature supposed to do? If we won't use our hands to help her, then she is left with no other choice than taking matters into her own hands and that's what we're seeing here. These fires and hurricanes and earthquakes and countless other natural disasters are Earth's last act of self-preservation and we not only acknowledge this, but we must also lead towards genuine change, in order to ensure we don't get to a place where it's simply too late."

For the time being, much of this remains hypothetical, but California has already put funding behind this initiative, as several grants have been awarded to state-run universities under the strict understanding that these funds will be used to invest and research anything that would further prove the Governor's assertions. In the meantime, as fires continue to uncontrollably burn in California--and many other states in the Pacific Northwest--and as Joe Biden calls President Trump a 'Climate Arsonist', we are left with evidence of real arson. And if a person chooses to look at this evidence with a biased and partial lens, it will help prove the Governor's assertions.
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After news broke yesterday, about President Trump revealing the truth behind the COVID-19 pandemic that has claimed nearly one million lives (many of which are Americans), the President quickly made a pivot in how he talked about the deadly virus.

"We're all going to die!", the President said at his press briefing. "Folks, there is really no good way to put it. The China virus is a grave threat to humanity and our future looks very bleak. Very bleak. And honestly, I'm not even sure what we're doing here."

Then, speaking to Dr. Scott Atlas, the President continued, "Scott, can you tell us if we should be here? We probably shouldn't be wasting the short time we have left on this earth, sitting at a press conference, right? I mean, I don't know. Maybe we should maybe we shouldn't, but we should probably be at home, with our families, enjoying whatever short time we have left to live."

This is a drastic contrast from the President's efforts over the span of the pandemic, which has lasted for months. President Trump, a self-proclaimed optimist, has usually taken a more cavalier approach towards the virus and those calling for more serious leadership and action from the White House.

"Today's change in tone and message was a real shock", said one reporter we spoke to from The Washington Post. "I mean, yesterday we came at the administration very hard, with questions and accusations about why President Trump feels it's OK to lie to the American people. Then today, he walks into the room and hits us with this harsh truth. It's really pretty unsettling, honestly. I'm literally sick to my stomach."

We reached out to a representative of Vice President Biden's campaign, for their response on President Trump's change of messaging. "Is this really what American's need right now? Right in the middle of a pandemic and civil unrest, do we really need the kind of leadership that instills even more panic and chaos? We just sent our children back to school and now we're telling them that we're all going to die. This is just terrible. Americans need hope, not hysteria. They need the truth, not fear mongering and panic. And the truth is, we are winning this fight against the virus and soon it will be defeated! There is no need to panic. Everything is under control and we will come out of this stronger and better than we ever have been before. Under Joe Biden's leadership, we guarantee that we will make America great again!"

When asked whether or not he intended to use President Trump's campaign slogan, Biden's representative said, "What?!? Umm, whoops! Well not exactly, but what Joe Biden does intend to say is that based on Mr. Trump's statement today he's not trying to make America great. He's trying to make America fear again."

There does seem to be some logic behind a more rational approach. There are times when leaders must help people rise above fear. Did President Roosevelt cause panic after Perl Harbor? No, he rallied Americans and showed great leadership when he said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." What the best leaders in history understood is, part of great leadership is preventing chaos. Sometimes this means withholding certain information, even as you press in with real action that leads to real results. This seems to be a more logical approach than what we saw from President Trump today.

Several sources, who spoke with The Wokeville Gazette on the condition of anonymity, have revealed that the anonymous sources for The Atlantic's recent article, "Trump: Americans Who Died in War Are 'Losers' and 'Suckers', are none other than former Vice President Joe Biden and his running mate, Senator Kamala Harris.

"We couldn't remain silent any longer," said one of the anonymous sources. "The American people deserve to know the sources and agenda behind these claims. It's one thing to make castigating assertions, but to do so under the condition of anonymity removes accountability and casts a dark shadow over objectivity. We strongly believe this article was a political stunt that was undoubtedly linked to Biden's recent decline in national polling."

We reached out to Biden's campaign for comment. Anthony Thornton, a public relations representative, called into question the legitimacy of these new claims. "Come on Man! You can't believe everything you hear, especially when the sources are anonymous. That's just crazy!" Thornton went on to say, "The important thing to remember is that Donald Trump has a history of derogatory comments. I'm sure that regardless who the actual sources were, in the Atlantic article, or if the claims are true or not...the main message these sources were trying to convey to voters is that it's plausible that Donald Trump made these statements. That alone sheds light on a truth that we already know; namely, that Donald Trump is unfit for the Presidency. He's a bully who doesn't care about anyone besides himself."

Thornton went on to reiterate that his assumptions about the sources behind the Atlantic article are "obviously pure speculation", since Biden and Harris have both denied any involvement with the article or The Atlantic. "Biden and Harris both unequivocally and categorically deny these unsubstantiated assertions", though Thornton stopped short of calling into question the article's validity or The Atlantic's political impartiality.

There is little doubt that the Atlantic article has helped Joe Biden's campaign. In fact, Biden used the story as an opportunity to make a rare public appearance. His scathing condemnation of President Trump was pointed and prepared. "If these statements are true the President should humbly apologize to every gold star mother and father and every blue star family that he's denigrated and insulted. Who the heck does he think he is?"

We asked Thornton how voters should react to the news that the same man assailing Trump's 'denigrating' words has now been linked, anonymously, as one of the two main sources for the claims in the article. 
 
"Look, in today's divisive and discordant political climate, this kind of reporting can not be tolerated. If you're not willing to back up your claims with your own reputation, then why should people take your assertions seriously? It's unfair to make such weighty assertions and then hide in the darkness behind anonymity. We all know that democracy dies in the darkness."

When pressed on whether voters should apply the same logic to The Atlantic's article, Biden's representative had no further comments.

In a recent move, seen mostly as political pageantry by his opponents, the "Joe Biden for President" campaign has started to hand out stickers to some of his most recent mail-in voting supporters.

According to a representative with the campaign, who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity,  the purpose of these stickers is to give deceased voters–who vote for Biden–an advantage over TRUMP supporters in the afterlife.

"In the event that these individuals reach the pearly gates without the confidence of where they'll be spending eternity, these stickers will work as a persuasion tool for Saint Peter. Essentially these stickers will work as a 'get out of hell free' card in some cases. Much like indulgences were used by Pope Leo X, in 1517, to build St. Peter's Basilica, we aim to tug on St. Peter's heartstrings by allowing folks to signal their goodness as they argue their way into heaven." 

We also spoke with Whitney Whitman, a representative of the Trump reelection campaign and a probable racist, who made it clear that they are not only aware of this issue but will spare no expense to ensure the Constitutionality and validity of the mail-in votes that were cast by these deceased voters.

"Our main objective is to ensue that no foul play or voter-fraud was involved. We have our top Russian assets working on this, as we speak, and if we determine that any criminality is involved, in any way, we will ensure that these ballots are not only challenged but that those responsible are held accountable."

Our efforts to reach out to any of the voters in question were unsuccessful, as none of the deceased voters were available for comment. 

There is no telling how any of this will impact the election, but for now, dead voters for Biden expect a significant heavenly advantage–and a sticker on their gravestones–signaling their support for Joe Biden; who many assume may be joining them in heaven shortly after his inauguration in January.
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