Washington, D.C. (Wokeveille Gazette) — The picture and the stories have been circulating on the Internet for several days. Social media has been filled with various MEMEs and fake news stories which tried to contrast a saluting President Trump with a bored and distracted President Biden. The problem is, none of these pictures or stories tell the truth.
Thankfully, after several days of silence, the White House finally provided a detailed explanation of what Americans saw with their own eyes, when President Biden appeared to be looking at his watch during the dignified transfer of 13 American soldiers who were killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. "Look, the truth is always a bit more jejune than the exaggerations", Thomas Kemp. "But we understand that all is fair in love and politics, so what can you do". Kemp then went on to explain, in very boring detail what was actually going on at Dover Airforce Base. "It won't come as a surprise to anyone to hear me say that President Biden is a shell of his former self. We all know this. However, what many Americans don't understand is that President Biden has a very strict regimen of checking his pulse, to ensure he is still alive. What the cameras captured, at Dover Airforce Base, was a moment of personal examination. Not to bore you with medical vernacular, but in no uncertain terms, the President was simply checking a rhythmical throbbing of the arteries as blood was being propelled through them. And he did this to make sure he was still alive". Mr. Kemp apologized for being the bearer of bad news for anyone who had hoped for a more reprehensible justification for the President's actions. "The President fully understands that people are looking for a reason to justify their hate and contempt for him", said Kemp. "I guess these people will have to return to the 10,987 other reasons President Biden has already given them in his first 7 months in office". |