Chicago, IL (Wokeville Gazette) — The President made a pit stop in the murder capital of the United States, to promote and celebrate the effectiveness of the vaccine mandates which have yet to be actually put in place with any formal law or OSHA regulation.
"The evidence is overwhelmingly clear", asserted President Biden as he addressed a huge crowd of seven reporters. "This isn't rocket science folks. These requirements work. Government tyranny is working and saving lives". The president is currently on a national tour, touting the success of his edicts and his willingness to do whatever it takes to save the American people from harming themselves or others. "Here's the deal folks...come on! We know this. First of all, except for the lives which we are ruining, with these mandates, as-well-as those lives being lost to either breakthrough fatal cases of COVID or adverse effects of these forced vaccinations, come on, the government mandates are not only working, but are saving lives", said Biden. "And (B) it has become abundantly clear that in order for us to strike the fatal blow to COVID, we must first strike a fatal blow to the Constitution and American freedom. And I stand before you tonight, as your duly and fairly elected President, on the precipice of victory, to assure you that our mission is nearly accomplished. We have broken the will of the American people and we are well on our way to breaking the American spirit as well". It certainly seems like only a matter of time before the final anti-vaxxer holdouts wave their white flags, humbly approach the President with contrite and remorseful posture, and beg him for mercy as they finally choose to relent and receive their vaccine shots. Until the final American is vaccinated, and we can all return to the new normal, one thing we have already learned with a general degree of certainty is this: tyranny is an effective way to motivate people to comply with their government.
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