CONGRESS WOMAN ESCAPES HER FAKE HANDCUFFS, JUST LONG ENOUGH TO RAISE HER FIST IN FAKE SOLIDARITY.

Washington, D.C ( Wokeville Gazette) — Fake congress-woman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), slipped out of her fake handcuffs—just long enough to raise her fist in fake solidarity with the other faux-testers, during an abortion rights rally outside the Supreme Court.

Most people know that before she was a lawmaker, AOC was a bartender. What they don't know is that she was also an aspiring escape artist with aspirations to be the next Harry Houdini. 

"Yo, she slipped right out those fake handcuffs she was in. Straight pimpin", said another faux-tester who was at the Supreme Court as well. "I was like, DAMN! Dat cop took his eye off of her for a quick minute, sure did, and she straight escaped. Like, blat blat! That got the rest of us riled up, cuz we was fixin' to be there to intimidate and terrorize the Supreme Court justices who voted to take away my baby-mamma's right to kill her babies".

We reached out to the U.S. Capitol Police for an explanation on the arrests of AOC and the rest of the Squad, but they didn't return our calls.

"AOC made those cops look silly", said another faux-tester. "They walked in, acting all tough, trying to scare us and break up a protest they said was unlawful. When we refused to move, they started arresting people. When they got to AOC, and put those fake handcuffs on her, people really got excited. She calmly walked away with those racist cops who kept telling her that she wasn't in handcuffs and didn't need to put her hands behind her back. Then, when they were distracted by someone yelling 'All Cops are Bastards', AOC slipped out of her cuffs like 'bye Falicia'. She is so amazing!"

Following their arrests, the lawmakers were taken to a grassy area between the Supreme Court and Capitol building. Once there, police asked the representatives to pose with their congressional IDs in lieu of a mugshot.


One Capitol Police officer was seen telling the members that water was on the way as they relaxed.

Several lawmakers, including Maloney, Ocasio-Cortez, Bush, and Levin took the opportunity to give interviews with members of the media.