FACEBOOK IS SCRAMBLING FOR ANSWERS, AFTER A CIVIL CONVERSATION OCCURS WITHOUT A SINGLE ALTERCATION.9/3/2020  Facebook is floundering to find answers after it was discovered that a recent conversation occurred, on its platform, without ending in a war of words. "I simply don't understand! Our algorithms are flawless and are specifically designed to prevent this from happening," said Youssef Benaissi, one of Facebook's chief engineers. "We intentionally match people up with content that is guaranteed to be perceived as offensive. Never in the history of our platforms have we seen such a cordial engagement between multiple users. It's just...it's flabbergasting." Now, Facebook's Public Relations department is scrambling to reassure investors and clients, who market their products on the social-media giant's platform. "We understand that our clients rely on the fear and controversy they have come to expect from Facebook interactions," said Angela Doerr, a spokesperson for the company. "We want to restore confidence and give our clients full assurance that we will work day and night until we find answers and close the gap that allowed this charitable conversation to go on, unchecked, without a feud or fracas. And we will not rest until we do." We reached out to Mark Zuckerberg, during his unplanned visits to China and Russia, after this controversy sparked skepticism from two of the company's most loyal advertisers. He was not available for comment, but one of his representatives did reiterate that Facebook will work tirelessly to regain any confidence that may have been lost. "We understand that many of our advertisers thrive on controversy and chaos. We don't see these things as mishaps, but rather, opportunities for us to learn and adapt and grow. We will come out of this stronger, wealthier, and more rigorous than we have ever been."
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