GOVERNORS, ACROSS THE NATION, HONOR VETERANS BY RESTRICTING INDIVIDUAL FREEDOMS.

In an effort to honor the service and sacrifice of military veterans, governors across the nation have decided to make sweeping executive mandates restricting the freedoms of the American people.

"The freedoms we so often take for granted have always been protected by the brave men and women in the uniform", said Tim Walz the Governor of Minnesota. "What better way to show American's which freedoms they regularly take for granted, then to take them away for a little while?"

Governor Walz, a veteran himself, enlisted in the Army National Guard in 1981, and served over a 24-year career. When pressed on how Government restrictions honor veterans, Walz Responded: "Anyone who has spent time in the military understands what we're trying to do here. The first thing any military recruit does is head to bootcamp. This is very intense and intentional training to used to break individuals down and reprogram them to operate as a team. After bootcamp, these soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen spend the rest of their time in the service, taking orders from their superiors without questioning the morality or legality of the orders. When your superior officer tells you to jump, you ask him 'how high' on the way up."

In a day and age where individualism and personal autonomy are running rampant, it's no wonder that Governors are finding it increasingly harder to get people to do what they want them to. Executive orders go a long way in reminding Americans that even though they live in a free society, with liberties that are protected by the Constitution, when your President or Governor tells you to do something, it's your civic responsibility to do as your told and not question it.

"We're really hoping to make a connection and an appeal to our veterans with these executive orders", said Walz. "The nice thing about brainwashing is that it's really hard to undo what the subconscious has been programed to do. These veterans are easy targets and since there is still a lot of respect and dignity paid to our current and former members of the military, we intend to take advantage of this honor and use it to get what we want from all Americans."