HOPING TO REPAIR BROKEN ALLIANCES, BIDEN SIGNS AN EXECUTIVE ORDER TO HELP KILL THE WORLD'S BABIES.

In one fell swoop, President Biden extended an olive branch to the world in hopes of repairing the damage President Trump did, in his four years in office, to create chaos and uncertainty around the world.

In one of his record-setting pace of executive orders, President Biden reversed the Mexico City policy, thus permitting U.S. aid money once again to fund groups that provide or promote abortion around the globe.

"Come on man!", President Biden said with a smile. "Donald Trump spent the entire four years of his Presidency undermining our allies around the globe and leaving them to wonder if the United States is a friend or a foe. I'm here to reassure our friends, all over the world that not only is the United States back, but we are once again committed to offering tangible help in killing your own children."

It should be noted that the policy, which President Biden revoked, was first put in place by President Ronald Reagan in an effort to ensure that taxpayers were not required to indirectly fund abortion procedures performed in other countries. The policy has been undone via executive order by every subsequent Democratic administration and reinstated by each Republican one.

"It's the wrong message to send to the world, that America can sacrifice our children to the gods of selfishness and unchecked personal-autonomy but we won't support other countries who desire to do the same", said a Jen Psaki, President Biden's Press Secretary. "We have always been a beacon of hope in the world and there is nothing that can restore severed relationships more quickly than showing the world, with our money, that we support their efforts to sever their children in the womb."

When asked if she'd like to soften or clarify the President's message in order to make it a bit less abrasive for conservative-leaning viewers who may find abortion to be offensive or insensitive, Psaki said: "No. No we would not."