IN A LAST-DITCH EFFORT TO STOP THE STEAL, TRUMP SUPPORTERS DECLARE AMERICA AN 'AUTONOMOUS ZONE’

On Saturday, rabid Trump supporters hit the streets to show their cultish loyalty to the most divisive and racist President in American history.

"We're here and we ain't leaving", said Cooper Johnson. "This is our America and we ain't gonna let no stolen election turn the country, Trump just spent the last four years making great again, into a playground for wusses and commies".

This kind of ignorance was on full display, at the Million MAGA March, as President Trump's minions continued their efforts to bring about Trump's America, even as his days as America's first illegitimate President are quickly coming to an end.

"We're tired of sitting quietly and doing nothin, while the Democrats burn our nation to the ground", said another Trump supporter. "These lefty [Democrat] governors have used a hoax pandemic to lock us in our homes, like we're illegals at the border or somethin, while they send their Antifa cronies into the streets to loot, burn, and declare America's cities, autonomous zones. Well, guess what? We've been paying attention and now it's our turn. We are now declaring America an Autonomous Zone and President Trump is our fearless Leader."

In an effort to stop the MAGA march from getting out of hand, Washington D.C.'s mayer, Muriel Bowser, made the difficult choice to release Antifa and BLM troops on the Trump supporters. "We always say that violence is a last option, but we were really given no other choice", said a representative of Bowser's office. "We don't like to put our people in harm's way, but if we didn't act the outcome would have been a lot worse than what we were already witnessing."

Antifa and BLM clashed with MAGA protestors and many of these clashes became violent. However, it became clear that the MAGA marches didn't come for a physical fight and they were quickly dispersed. "The only real clashes we saw is when the Proud Boys (a white supremacist domestic terrorist group) showed up and started fighting back", said Mayor Bowser's representative. "But these fights were few and far between and we gave Antifa and BLM strict protocols to follow if they were engaged by the Proud Boys."

It seems like Donald Trump will continue to encourage these kinds of efforts, to undermine the will of the American people, but what we can take comfort in this truth: Come January 20th, Joe Biden will be America's President and Donald Trump will finally be removed from the White House. Though this certainly can't come fast enough, things can finally all go back to normal.