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​The WOKEVILLE GAZETTE

Discernment Dies in Hysteria

IN A SURPRISING SHIFT, AMAZON NOW REQUESTS IN-PERSON VOTING ONLY TO ENSURE 'VALID AND FAIR ELECTION'.

1/27/2021

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In what can only be categorized as, "You Must Be Joking...right?", Amazon pushes back on efforts to allow for mail-in unionizing vote. 

Amazon is asking the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) to direct warehouse workers to cast unionizing votes in-person, rather than by mail. The company filed a motion last week to delay the union election at an Alabama facility, which was set to begin on Monday, Feb. 8th by mail. Amazon is requesting that the method of voting be a one-day in-person event.

"We believe that the best approach to a valid, fair and successful election is one that is conducted manually, in-person, making it easy for associates to verify and cast their vote in close proximity to their workplace," Amazon spokeswoman Heather Knox said in a statement.

Asked how they juxtapose their position, in light of all the evidence provided over the past 2 months that November's National election was both free and fair, Heather Knox said, "Yes, we fully acknowledge that we are walking a delicate line here. On one hand, we completely stand behind November's elections and agree that there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to indicate any election fraud at all. However, in our unique circumstance, we simply feel it is in our best interest to ensure the validity of each vote cast and to ensure that every legally cast vote is counted; no more and no less."

Several Amazon Executives have already started a "Stop the Steal" campaign and have planned several peaceful protests at Amazon headquarters and other distribution centers across the country.

"We are confident that if we are allowed to have this vote, by mail, then our efforts to unionize will be successful", said one Amazon employee we spoke with on the condition of anonymity. "Our Union officials have all but guaranteed us that they have a blueprint for victory, including additional ballots that will guarantee us a victory in the event that in person voting is not going as forcased by their national polls. The union feels so confident in this reality, that they feel no need to spend any money campaigning or lobbying employee groups to ensure a victory. Of course, their confidence drops drastically if mail-in voting will no longer be considered or allowed."

For now, it's wait and see, to see how the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) responds to Amazon's request for in-person voting only, but morale is still fairly high as most Amazon employees feel confident that with the global pandemic still affecting most Americans and the evidence that points to the free and fair elections in November, without any issues of election fraud what-so-ever, the NLRB will be hard-pressed to not make accommodations for mail-in voting.
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