It's Time for the Real Men in America to Stand Up.

For some men, real men, the time has come to put down their video game controllers, take off their jammie pants, and hit the streets.

"For far too long, we've allowed the stereotypical man to speak on our behalf", said Christian Peters. "We've enabled the loudest and most obnoxious men to speak for all of us. It's time for real men to stand up and be heard."

As the world is left to grieve, in the aftermath of yet another mass shooting in Colorado, real men are starting to wake up to the reality that unless they learn to use their voices and be heard, the cycle of death and needless violence will never be broken.

"While we've been quietly sitting at home, playing video games and watching old episodes of Family Guy on our parents couches, our fathers have been hard at work paying for the college debt we acquired--chasing our worthless liberal arts degrees", lamented Peters. "Meanwhile, these banal and pedestrian caricatures of men are given the platforms to tell the next generation what manhood looks like. We can't stand for this."

Peters, who is an unapologetic feminist-vegan-atheist gender non-conforming man, is part of an undercurrent of men, who are starting to rise up. They are hitting the streets to protest things like the NRA, the GOP, and the MAGA movement that has spread throughout America faster than the Coronavirus did.

"The real pandemic isn't COVID", said Peters through his 'I [heart] my mommy mask'. "I'm not suggesting that COVID-19 isn't a serious threat to the world, but the real virus is in our minds. It's this mental disorder of believing that being a man is owning a gun and  supporting the NRA. It's this idea that men are responsible for providing for and protecting their families and that this must be done by any and all means necessary. Real men don't need guns. We have our mommies."

This wave of manliness is a welcome addition to the public square, where the Proud Boys and other racist, misogynistic, and chauvinistic groups have had a monopoly on manliness. 

"While we hate all men", said feminist Cindy Cooper-Anderson. "We don't hate all men equally. Men like Christian Peters are an ally of our causes and we hope more men like him are willing to come out from behind the shadows--of the strong women who have been fighting their battles for them their whole lives—and teach the next generation of boys what it really means to act like men."