NEW ZEALAND SENDS ENTIRE NATION TO JAIL OVER ONE HOMICIDE

Wellington, NZ (Wokeville Gazette) — New Zealand has announced a snap lockdown after a man was found murdered; the first homicide in six months.
The case was detected in Auckland, which will be in lockdown for a12 years to life, while the rest of the country will be in lockdown a minimum of 12 years with a chance of parole in 7 years with good conduct.

​Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said the toughest "level 4" rules were required - closing schools, offices and all businesses with only the services she determines to be essential services remaining operational. Along with the Prime Minister, the only other people not being incarcerated are her staff, family, and closest friends. The rest of the country will be immediately sent to the hoosegows to ensure no additional murders take place.

"One of the most difficult parts of being a Prime Minister is making tough, yet necessary, decisions", said Ardern. "This is a case where we decided to error on the side of caution for the safety and well being of our people".

Since it has been determined, over the past 18-months of strict COVID lockdowns, that most Kiwis prefer safety over freedom, it's highly unlikely that this lockdown will impact Prime Minister Arden's chances of reelection.