NFL SuperFan: 'Well, Someone Had to Win I guess.'

Philadelphia, PA — On a night where folks had to choose between watching two men yell at each other and two teams try and lose another football game, NFL Superfan—Jordan Jackson—found himself in quite a conundrum. 

"I love football", said Jordan. "I've never missed a game. I've watched games at weddings, funerals, church, proctology exams, and work but for the first time in my life I really was torn on whether or not I was going to watch this game."

The game was between two teams with the worst records in football. The Philadelphia Eagles (1-4-1) hosted the NY Giants (1-5-0) for what was slated to be a Thursday Night Football classic. However, as the season has progressed, this game was shaping up to be a clunker, and for the most point it did not disappoint.

"It took everything in me to not change the channel", said Jackson. "As a Jets fan, I've seen some horrible games, but this one may have been the worst. I love football because of the drama and competition and gamesmanship, but I kept getting Tweets and Facebook updates about the beat-down Joe Biden was giving to Donald Trump and I kept asking myself if the real smackdown was the Presidential debate. Every time I thought about changing the channel, I kept telling myself not to give up, and then the game kept getting worse and worse."

When pressed on what kept him committed to the game, Jackson said, "Well, someone had to win I guess. I wasn't watching to see who was going to win, I was watching to see who was going to lose and how they were going to do it."

In some ways, that's the exact same strategy the Biden campaign brought into last night's debate. It's wasn't so much walking away the winner, but rather, not walking away the loser. With that being the game plan, Biden won the night.

"We felt really good about it", said one representative from Biden's campaign. "Joe was able to stay awake the whole 90 minutes. We were well prepared for every softball question we were asked by Kristen Welker, and the fact that Donald Trump's microphone was cut off really helped us avoid any major pushback or attacks. When Donald Trump did press Biden on some of the recent scandals, regarding Hunter's laptop and business deals, Joe remained steady in his rejection of the claims and did a good job shifting the conversation back to topics he was ready and prepared to discuss instead."

One other thing the Giants vs. Eagles game and Trump vs. Biden debate had in common is that for the most part, Americans  wasted their time. It is well established and understood that both the NFL and American politics are rigged. The outcomes of both are decided by money and the players involved are little more than facades and pawns in the larger games that are played by the Rothchilds, Rockefellers, and Morgans.