IN AN ACT OF PURE MASCULINITY, WORLD'S RICHEST MAN, RIDES GIANT PHALLIC SHAPED ROCKET INTO SPACE.

VAN HORN, Texas (Wokeville Gazette) — "One small step for man. One giant leap for masculinity", said Jeff Bezos as he safely landed in a field in Texas. 

Jeff Bezos blasted into space Tuesday on his rocket company’s first flight with people on board, becoming the second male billionaire, in just over a week, to ride his own spacecraft into the edges of space.

"What made this accomplishment different was the shape of the rocket", said a spokesman for Blue Origin. "We intentionally built this thing to look like a giant phallic symbol, as a way to remind the world of the greatness and proficiency of men".

Of course Bezos would be the first to admit that there isn't anything wrong with not being a man. However, the fact that he is a man and his rocket is shaped like a giant man-part, shouldn't be missed either.

​"Look, we've seen a trend over the past several decades to elevate and worship the feminine while simultaneously eliminating and even ridiculing the masculine. In some ways, this has helped us become more sensitive and caring", said a Dr. Henry Jorgensen. "But in other ways, it has made American men impotent and even, dare I say, left to deal with impotence. Bezos's ambitious and brave journey into space has reminded the world, once again, of the power and strength of men and it is certainly an 'uplifting' occasion worth celebrating".

"Best day ever," Bezos said after the capsule touched down on the desert floor at the end of the 10-minute flight. "I can't even begin to express how manly I feel after that experience".

Named after America’s first astronaut, Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket soared from remote West Texas on the 52nd anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing, a date chosen by Bezos for its historical significance.

"Today, as we commenced our own historic race to space, we are reminded of the brave men who made space travel possible", said Bezos. "And now, as the world marvels at our success, let me be the first to say...men, we've done it again!"
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