Atlanta, GA (Wokeville Gazette) — Progressives across the United States breathed a unified sigh of relief on Monday, when they discovered the weekend's top story—Biden's Hamburger Halt—which was originally shared by Fox News over the weekend, turned out to be a hoax the size of a heifer.
On Monday, Fox News apologized for airing a graphic that baselessly suggested President Joe Biden wanted to force Americans to eat less meat as part of his climate plan. In a statement on air, Fox News’ John Roberts said the network had "incorrectly implied" that cutting back on red meat "was part of Biden’s plan for dealing with climate change." The data from the Michigan study was "accurate," Roberts went on, but it was "not" a part of Biden’s plan. This clarification was a relief to most progressives across the United States, who were rightly concerned what this recommendation around cheeseburgers might do to the popularity of one of the most hateful fast food chains in America. "The homophobic cows have been telling us for years to 'EAT MOR CHIKIN', but our consciences wouldn't allow us to do so", said Cindy Ginsburg an avid anti-hate activist. "Chick-fil-A is one of the most hateful organizations in America. They support hate, they support the legislation of hate and we hate them for their hate." This is why the Fox News report was such a shock to many progressives. They found themselves in a difficult place of making a choice between protecting the environment or boycotting America's favorite fast food chicken restaurant. "I was so relieved", said Ginsburg. "When I found out that I could still boycott the Chick-fil-A—for their hatful and homophobic stances—it brought joy to my heart. I love to hate Chick-fil-A and I can't imagine a world in which hating Chik-fil-A would be considered unethical. They deserve all the hate they get, and because this turned out to be nothing more than more Fake News from the curators of all fake news, we can continue to hate Chick-fil-A with a clear conscience." |