WHITE WOMAN FORCED OUT OF LUNCH CLIQUE, TO MEET COMPANY'S DIVERSITY RULE FOR COTERIES.

New York City, NY (Wokeville Gazette) — After nearly 4 years of eating lunch with the same group of work-friends, Katlynn Elliot was abruptly removed from the group in order to meet the equity and diversity requirements of her company. 

"It's hard to imagine a world where something as innocent as who you choose to eat lunch with, would be so tightly regulated", said Tim Stevens, the token gay guy in the group. "But, I certainly can understand the importance of perception and as a gay man I know the struggle to be accepted. So, even though Katlynn will be missed, I support the company's efforts to do the right thing".

Katlynn was removed from the group last month, leaving behind nearly 4 years of nebulous and superficial conversations that have been a part of her daily routine as long as she has worked at her company. She was forced to leave the group, because Keiko Chinn—the token Asian and founding member of the lunch-squad—recently retired; putting the group at odds with the company policy on diversity and inclusion.

"Needless to say, I'm still pretty upset about it", said Katlynn. "But I also understand. There wasn't much our company could do. If they let this violation slide, they'd probably be forced to allow the crazy group of Christians—who were hosting an illegal Bible study in the meditation room—to meet again as well. So, even though I'm still in shock and looking for a new group to sit with at lunch, I understand the importance of proper enforcement and accountability".

The group worked closely with their Human Resources department to see if there were any loopholes or  escape clauses which would allow Katlynn to stay with the group, but none of the available options fit.

"I was offered the opportunity to self-identify as a man and begin a transition to being a man", said Katlynn. "This would have given me the opportunity to stay in the group, because we don't currently have a token transgender person. And the best part of all is that my company would be willing to pay for the entire transition, making this decision a no-brainer for me". 

However, Katlynn's husband (Mark) wasn't onboard with the idea.

"First of all, I'd like to say right now...that I have no issues, whatsoever, with trans people", said Mark. "I love them and I believe they should be treated with full dignity and respect. But as Katlynn and I talked about her making this transition, in order to keep her spot in the lunch-squad, it seemed to me like she was walking into this a bit hastily. In my opinion, she was making the choice for all the wrong reasons. Not to mention, saying goodbye to her smokin' hot body and hello to another wiener in the house...are you kidding me? Also, the thought of sleeping with another dude, even though technically she wouldn't really be a dude, or finding a natural way to break the news to our three children...these are just a few of the hurdles we were really struggling with".

So, because her husband was unwilling to support her, Katlynn was forced to say goodbye to her casual work-friends as well as their companionship which had made her lunchbreaks tolerable for the past 4 years.

"Maybe we can figure out a way to do something outside of work, together", said Tim Stevens. "Oh, who am I trying to fool? We've never liked each other enough to do something like that. Best wishes Katlynn. You will be missed".